AM I MOVING OR STANDING STILL

AS I WAS READING BLOGS FOR INSPIRATION TONIGHT AND ADDING TO MINE, I WENT BACK AND READ MY OPENING TITLE STATEMENT AND RELIZED I STARTED THIS IN SEPTEMBER OF 2005 AS A WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY AND A JOURNEY TO FIND MYSELF, AND I AM FAILING! WHAT WEIGHT LOSS THERE HAS BEEN HAS BEEN REGAINED. I AM NO FURTHER ALONG MY JOURNEY'S PATH THAN WHEN I STARTED. OH THE PAIN THAT MAKES ME FEEL. FAILURE IS THE WORD THAT COMES TO MIND. IS THIS NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME! DO I NOT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES! THEN THE WHY ME'S START IN MY MIND. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE FAT GIRL, WHY DOES FOOD HAVE TO BE MY ENEMY, WHY , WHY, WHY??? WHY CAN I NOT GET OVER THE ROAD BLOCK AND START LOOSING WEIGHT, BUT THE ANSWER IS THERE. I AM MY OWN WORSE ENEMY. I SABOTAGE MYSELF. I PUT THE FOOD IN MY MOUTH. I MAKE THE DECISIONS TO MAKE BAD CHOICES. IT IS "I" WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHO AND WHAT I AM! SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. IT MEANS TO ME THAT IT IS "I" WHO HAS TO TAKE CONTROL AND STOP LET MYSELF STAND STILL! I HAVE THE POWER! I HAVE GOD TO TURN TO INSTEAD OF FOOD! I HAVE GOOD FRIENDS WHO SUPPORT ME! I HAVE A LOVING HUSBAND WHO STANDS BY ME! I HAVE TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES, AND I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF ON A DAILY BASIS I CAN DO THIS, I CAN MOVE FORWARD ALONG THE CORRECT PATH!!!! I WILL BEGIN THE JOURNEY AGAIN IN 2007, BUT THIS TIME THE DIFFERENCE WILL BE THAT I WILL MOVE FORWARD AND NOT JUST STAND STILL HOPING IT WILL HAPPEN!!