INSPIRED

HAVE YOU TRIED SOMETHING NEW TODAY!!!!!!

TGIF...NOT

Whoever came up with the phrase TGIF-Thanks God It Is Friday, was not dieting. I think weekends are the hardest part of the week to get through when you are trying to eat healthy. There seems to be so many more temptation. The schedule changes, it is not as strict, there is more leeway for error. More choices that have to be made. More situations that make you have to make choices, be healthy or enjoy yourself and not be healthy. I know that sounds so negative, but truly how much fun is it to go to a party, or a bridal shower, and not be able to partake with all your friends and family as they enjoy the beautiful cake and wine, or the decadent chocolate fountain with the luscious looking strawberries to dip in it.

I know that time with family and friends, needs to become more about socializing than eating for me. The focus has been food for me for so long, it is hard to change. When you are one of the people who feels awkward in social situations, never knowing the right thing to say, or being afraid you will say the wrong thing, I guess it is just easier to stuff your face. I guess if you get fat enough no one will pay attention to you and then you will not have to worry about that awkward moment ever happening. Although if you take it a step further, by stuffing your face I guess we inevitable avoid living life all together don't we, and that is not what anyone truly wants. I know I don't. I want to be able to live my life to the fullest, but being full from stuffing your face makes that impossible.

So I guess the saying that I like the best and am trying to focus on is "EAT TO LIVE, NOT LIVE TO EAT", and the world will be your oyster!!!!!!!

War of the Wills in the grocery aisle

Things have been good this week. I have made healthy food choices, stayed within my calories, and even exercised while my workout partner is on vacation. So all in all it has been a good week, but, and there always has to be a but doesn't there;-) I had a meeting tonight and afterwards took advantage and stopped at the grocery store for a little shopping without the kids. Now since I have had a good week, my brain is telling me "You have been good you deserve something gooooood!!". So as I make my way through the store I am buying my healthy stuff, but stopping to look at the labels of the unhealthy stuff. Like cookies are going to get any less fatting or have less sugar!!!, but as I look at the label the dueling voices in my head begin to talk. Healthy voice, "It is not worth it, you are doing so good, you feel so good!" Unhealthy voice, "But it will taste so good, you know you want it, it won't hurt, just this once, you deserve it." Thankfully I do not listen to this voice and continue to move on through the store.

I eventually get to the ice cream aisle. Now I know I should have never even ventured down this aisle. Ice cream is my weakness. I love Ice cream!! But alas, I do head down the aisle, looking at labels, looking at sugar free verses regular, and then I see it. The Ben and Jerry's section. My sister recently turned me on to a new flavor they have-Cinnamon Buns, and it is to die for! I see it and pick it up looking at the label. I am still below my calorie count today and have exercised all week, so I justify the 1000 calories for the one small container of ice cream just this once I can have it. So I put it in my cart and continue down the ice cream aisle and turn into the next aisle. I stop as the healthy and unhealthy voices start to discuss again. I turn around head back down the aisle put it back on the shelf, and instead grab sugar free, fat free, fudgecicles. So again I head out of the ice cream aisle, but again stop. My voices in my head again arguing, buy it, don't buy it, okay to eat it, not okay to eat it, but you really want it, You should have it, this once won't hurt. My brain began to hurt as I went back and forth between the voices. Who do I listen to??? Needless to say I took that ben and jerrys ice cream container off the shelf three different times and ended up putting it back three times before my healthy voice won out.

Am I crazy or what. I am sure that if anyone was paying attention to me in the store and would of seen the war of wills that I was going through, they would of either, 1) laughed historically probably peeing their pants, or 2) would of called the manager complaining of a crazy person in the store.

So here I sit tonight, after winning the battle of the wills, with my sugar free fudgecicle, bloggin about my battle. Am I satisfied?? Kinda. Am I happy with my decision??? Yes. I am still thinking about how good that Cinnamon Bun Ice Cream would have tasted, but am glad that the choice I made will effect my healthy positively and not negatively.

Brand New Day

I had a bad weekend. My depression got the best of me, which in turn, had me mostly sleeping and eating, and by eating I mean unhealthy eating, which makes the depression even worse. But the good news is by the end of Sunday, I had hit rock bottom and was on my way back up. I got up today with a new determination that I have not had in several weeks. I got a lot accomplished, exercised with my family, and followed my food plan today completely. Making only healthy choices and staying within my calories. The best thing is that it felt sooooo good. I felt in control again;-)

My Brain Hurts

Ouch! My head is throbbing. It has been one of those days or should I say weeks. As a mother of 3 dealing with summer vacation, I must say to day I was at the end of my rope.

So here is my whine for today, I am going to just get it out there and head back to my new positive place. I heard so many moms, moms, today that my brain is on overload. Some days there is just no brain space left for me to take care of me. Can others relate to this????? or is it just me.

I did plan an escape though. When my husband got home for work I headed to the hair salon, to make a change. A new color can do wonders for a girl!!! And oh how I love how my hair lady massages the head when she shampoos your hair. If I were rich I would higher a full time hair dress to wash my hair everyday, it feels so good and is so relaxing.

This definately helped to rejuvinate me a little, make me relize I am slacking on taking care of me duties, and I am heading back on the right road. I need to start pre-planning my days, so that I can stay on some kind of track in all areas of my life, family, friends, house, and self.

As far as working on my goals, so far I have achived number 1-I attended my prism meeting. As for the other three they are still a thought in process, but will be in place by the end of the week, hopefully tomorrow.

Ready, Set, Run

Okay, I am running. I should say trying to run. These lungs and body can only handle running one short stretch of the track at a time, but I am doing it. My workout partner has been timing her laps with her watch so she can see improvement. So since I also have a handy watch, with lots of functions I have as of yet to use, I thought I would do the same. So here are my times for this morning.

Lap 1 3.56
lap 2 4.08
lap 3 4.09
lap 4 4.44
lap 5 4.01
lap 6 4.52
lap 7 4.43

Well I am no speed demon, but everyone has to start somewhere.

My goals for this week are as followw:

1. Attend Prism meeting
2. Journal all food
3. Keep calories at 1300
4. Be in bed by 10 p.m.

And the journey continues.............

Choose Life

It sounds so simple, "Choose life" doesn't it. But is it really. Does our heart always wake up and look to the day as a mircle, another adventure that we have been blessed with. I know my heart does not. Some days when the alarm goes off, my heart is thinking, "Ugh, another day, I just want to stay in bed all day."
but then I believe God sends me little reminders.

I was up late last night, flipping through the channels, as usual finding nothing worth watching on, yet I keep flipping through the channels thinking something will magically appear, but on this night it did. I stop on The Larry King show to see who he was talking to on this night. His subject was "inspiring people beating incredible odds", this sounded interesing so I put the remote down. I joined the program in progress, but at this moment he was speaking to a gentleman named Jim Maclaren. He had went from being an All American at Yale, to having a motorcycle accident in NY, being hit by a bus and having to have one of his legs amputed below the knee. Now this would be devasting for anyone, but he took this situation and made Lemonade. He went on to break records in marathons as well as Ironman competitions. He came out of his situation and was back on top, but like that was not enough, God had more planned for this life. During one of his events, he was hit by a van and became a quadrapligic. Doctors told him he would never move again, but now they call him the "Living Mircle", through perseverance and his hard work and determination, he is able to move again, and has chose life and is touching many with it.

Stories like these definately put your life in to persepective. The "poor me" attitude just does not cut it. What am I doing with what God has blessed me with? That question cuts to the bone. Answer: Not much. So what has to change, EVERYTHING! Eye opening yes, life changing, can be, but only I can make that change.

My Family and Faith

I have been struggling with eating healthy majorily over the last few weeks. Feeling sorry for myself that it is so hard for me to loose weight. I know wah wah, big baby!! Unfortunately, I periodically slip into these slumps and have a hard time getting out, forgetting how it effects my family. I was looking at my daughter today, she had just put on a pair of jeans that we bought for her just a couple of weeks ago. At that time they fit perfect and were sooooo cute on her!! But today, I noticed that they are now snug, almost too snug, looking too small for her. At that moment I relize that my slips in too poor meville don't just effect me, they are shaping the fate of my children as well. What will they remember when they grow up. A mom who talked about eating right and exercising but every month or so, slipped off the wagon, binging on everything she could get her hands on, too tired and lathargic from over eating and not exercising, to give them the attention they need. This is not the person I want to be. Sometimes I feel like I am on the outside of myself looking in, seeing me be self sabataging and self destructing, and unable to stop it. I know that there is only one power that is going to get me through this struggle, GOD, and I have been hiding from him, thinking I should be able to do this on my own, I do not need anyone or anything to do this, but I am wrong. I need my best friend, I need my Prism group, and mostly I need to drop to my knees and pray to GOD to lift me up and help me down the road to recovery from this addiction, and so at this moment I am dropping to my knees and praying to be lifted up, working on my faith in GOD and his power to heal.

Family

Family can't live with them, can't live without them. I went home this week to visit my parents and siblings. I always go with great expectations. We will get along famously, we will have a great time together, and what always happens is the opposite. I remember why I have a problem with emotionaly eating, and it all stems from my negative upbringing and family. I know that I am responsible for what I eat, but it is almost like my mind and body go into automatic pilot once I step foot in my parents house, or spend any time with my siblings. My mind is telling me if you want to be able to deal this week, eat, eat, eat. Where is the nearest cookie jar. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, or fortunately for me, one of my children got sick, and I had to come home early. The minute, I hit the road for home, I felt my body, begin to relax, and relize I cannot continue to react this way when I am with my family. I have some very bad habits to break with dealing with things with food. This is the main thing that holds me back from achieving my goal, and seems like the hardest thing to let go of. What coping mechanism can I easily replace eating with to deal with family, and negative situations? I do not know but that is what I am in search of.